Ye need not abaondon all hope...

Well it's been nearly two months since my last post, things have been (and are continuing to be), incredibly busy in my life at the moment. It's "good complicated", but complicated none the less. Even now I've only about 5 minutes to jot down these thoughts and reacquaint myself with all yous internet types. I've actually been writing a great deal lately, but mostly for school and in private. I've actually had a great time so far in keeping a journal, much of this is due to my recent rediscovery of writing by longhand. More to come.

Laborious

I really don't have much to say tonight. I had a very interesting idea earlier for a short story that I started working on this afternoon. I was also recently invited to write some short film scripts and I'm excited about the potential for image-centric story telling based upon the conditions outlined for production.

I've also been writing a song with an old writing partner of mine that is going really well. And poems are trickling out here and there.

This is an "I" heavy blog. Given that it is a blog about my feelings, thoughts, musings, etc.--I'm not too bothered by that, although it doesn't make for the kind of writing that I enjoy reading. Recently however, I've noticed that the act of writing has been taking on different meanings for me since I started writing poetry. I'm more aware of the power that certain phrasings can exert over the meaning of a sentence. And with this awareness, I'm less frightened about putting my thoughts down on the page as they are voiced within my head--La de dah and such.

I think that for too long, I've been trying to write well, instead of write. This is dangerous. Tis better to have written shitily, than to have never written at all. You can quote me on that.

And We're Back

As some may have noticed, I've been off the air for a good bit (something to the tune of about six days). I've found it difficult (and that's putting it politely) to remain motivated with the rumblings of the new semester underfoot. Furthermore, I've been feeling overwhelmed and more than a little stressed out lately. While I understand that an awful lot of my discontent has been self created, it doesn't make turning off the "worry switch" any easier. However, this is not to say that things are not going well.

My mood has actually been generally upbeat as of late. Tonight has been a little down due to still organizing things and sorting things out some. But I'm feeling a lot more satisfied with where things are headed on lot of levels, even though I am still nagged from time to time with fears of failure and questions of capability. Mostly, I'm learning to shut these quasi-notions, false feelings, and self-questioning sessions down/out quickly and mercilessly. For too long I have felt the necessity to justify or qualify my motives or actions or agency, but I've realized (after much thought), that many of the attitudes toward life that I held in my early twenties, were actually more healthy and positive than I once gave them credit.

My academic, personal, professional, and social pursuits are all good things. I do a good job managing my time and must worry far less about the possibility of failure, discontentment, or mistakes. Life is in the living and there are more good opportunities and good chances than bad. Fear not the unknown.

bar napkin

Thyme E Nuff et Lahst

So I've been encountering a lot of media on the subject of time travel, and damn if it isn't tempting to write about it. The problem with writing about time travel is that you're liable to encounter paradoxes, inconsistencies, and there's a good chance that the angle that you're working on has already been chipped at by Star Trek or The Twilight Zone. Something to consider. That is all.

Courses

It's been raining for the last five and each morning has been an exercise in fighting myself out of a warm bed.

Good things are happening. The start of the semester has left me feeling positive and aligns more than ever with what I'm after. That said, I was able to swap my American Lit and Economics course for an American Lit and Film course that has Octavia Buttler, Toni Morison, Clint Eastwood, and Joss Whedon on the "reading" list. While the Lit and Econ class was interesting, the area of focus was just too far from what I'm interested in studying and how I prefer to analyze literature. I've realized that I'm less interested in larger sociological or economic comparisons, and more interested in cultural, genre, and narrative elements.

In other news, I've decided to focus more on poetry and short fiction for the time being, and dedicate more of my writing time to these areas respectively. I feel a great deal of satisfaction in my poems as they allow me more freedoms to chip away at smaller blocks of marble, but maintain the same impact. I've also been reading some of Herman Hesse's poetry, as mentioned previously, and some Yeats and Whitman as well--both of which I encounter some difficulty in enjoying as much as Hesse. I appreciate all of it none the less.

Well, the rain has started again so I'll close this up as I close my windows.

eyes grown heavy with the day
mind slips into the sea saw place
hours end, marked by darkness
comes the light not long past then