As some may have noticed, I've been off the air for a good bit (something to the tune of about six days). I've found it difficult (and that's putting it politely) to remain motivated with the rumblings of the new semester underfoot. Furthermore, I've been feeling overwhelmed and more than a little stressed out lately. While I understand that an awful lot of my discontent has been self created, it doesn't make turning off the "worry switch" any easier. However, this is not to say that things are not going well.
My mood has actually been generally upbeat as of late. Tonight has been a little down due to still organizing things and sorting things out some. But I'm feeling a lot more satisfied with where things are headed on lot of levels, even though I am still nagged from time to time with fears of failure and questions of capability. Mostly, I'm learning to shut these quasi-notions, false feelings, and self-questioning sessions down/out quickly and mercilessly. For too long I have felt the necessity to justify or qualify my motives or actions or agency, but I've realized (after much thought), that many of the attitudes toward life that I held in my early twenties, were actually more healthy and positive than I once gave them credit.
My academic, personal, professional, and social pursuits are all good things. I do a good job managing my time and must worry far less about the possibility of failure, discontentment, or mistakes. Life is in the living and there are more good opportunities and good chances than bad. Fear not the unknown.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thyme E Nuff et Lahst
So I've been encountering a lot of media on the subject of time travel, and damn if it isn't tempting to write about it. The problem with writing about time travel is that you're liable to encounter paradoxes, inconsistencies, and there's a good chance that the angle that you're working on has already been chipped at by Star Trek or The Twilight Zone. Something to consider. That is all.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Courses
It's been raining for the last five and each morning has been an exercise in fighting myself out of a warm bed.
Good things are happening. The start of the semester has left me feeling positive and aligns more than ever with what I'm after. That said, I was able to swap my American Lit and Economics course for an American Lit and Film course that has Octavia Buttler, Toni Morison, Clint Eastwood, and Joss Whedon on the "reading" list. While the Lit and Econ class was interesting, the area of focus was just too far from what I'm interested in studying and how I prefer to analyze literature. I've realized that I'm less interested in larger sociological or economic comparisons, and more interested in cultural, genre, and narrative elements.
In other news, I've decided to focus more on poetry and short fiction for the time being, and dedicate more of my writing time to these areas respectively. I feel a great deal of satisfaction in my poems as they allow me more freedoms to chip away at smaller blocks of marble, but maintain the same impact. I've also been reading some of Herman Hesse's poetry, as mentioned previously, and some Yeats and Whitman as well--both of which I encounter some difficulty in enjoying as much as Hesse. I appreciate all of it none the less.
Well, the rain has started again so I'll close this up as I close my windows.
Good things are happening. The start of the semester has left me feeling positive and aligns more than ever with what I'm after. That said, I was able to swap my American Lit and Economics course for an American Lit and Film course that has Octavia Buttler, Toni Morison, Clint Eastwood, and Joss Whedon on the "reading" list. While the Lit and Econ class was interesting, the area of focus was just too far from what I'm interested in studying and how I prefer to analyze literature. I've realized that I'm less interested in larger sociological or economic comparisons, and more interested in cultural, genre, and narrative elements.
In other news, I've decided to focus more on poetry and short fiction for the time being, and dedicate more of my writing time to these areas respectively. I feel a great deal of satisfaction in my poems as they allow me more freedoms to chip away at smaller blocks of marble, but maintain the same impact. I've also been reading some of Herman Hesse's poetry, as mentioned previously, and some Yeats and Whitman as well--both of which I encounter some difficulty in enjoying as much as Hesse. I appreciate all of it none the less.
Well, the rain has started again so I'll close this up as I close my windows.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Patterns
I read some of Herman Hesse's poetry today in an old collection that had either belonged to my parents or a good friend of mine who moved out of the area. I don't normally read much poetry, but I've found myself struggling to "lose myself" in lengthier pieces of fiction as of late.
In reading Hesse's poetry, it serves as an insight into his thinking process. From what I've gathered, he was dealing with a lot of the same dificulties I am. It's worth noting that Hesse's poetry has to do with emotion, the countryside, travel, love, and lost youth. Again I emphasize.
Tomorrow's a big day as I begin my new program at CGU and start life anew as an English major yet again. I'm looking forward to it, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being a little nervous. But mostly I'm excited. That's enough for tonight.
In reading Hesse's poetry, it serves as an insight into his thinking process. From what I've gathered, he was dealing with a lot of the same dificulties I am. It's worth noting that Hesse's poetry has to do with emotion, the countryside, travel, love, and lost youth. Again I emphasize.
Tomorrow's a big day as I begin my new program at CGU and start life anew as an English major yet again. I'm looking forward to it, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being a little nervous. But mostly I'm excited. That's enough for tonight.
Monday, January 18, 2010
All jazz lost
I'm sure I'm not alone in being envious of the things that other people write. Take the television show Lost for example, especially under Brian K. Vaughn's watch. I look at Lost and think: "wham, that's it" and wish that I'd written it (the infamous second season included).
I remember hearing a story once that went like this: Jeff Beck, a well respected guitar player and my personal fav., walked into the bar one day to listen to an American guitar player who he'd heard only little about. He sat down and watched this American contemporary silently for several minutes. And when the band finished, Mr. Beck finished his beer and headed toward the door. His friends asked him where he was heading to which he replied, "to go find a new career." The man on stage was Jimi Hendrix.
I've absolutely no idea if it ever really happened and whether it is merely mythopea or tall tale, doesn't really matter. Obviously Jeff didn't quit and went on to later record albums that would define Jazz Fusion and inspire countless musicians, myself included. I like this story. It reminds me to push on, even when discouraged or when facing persons, places, and things that seem greater, bigger or better than you.
I remember hearing a story once that went like this: Jeff Beck, a well respected guitar player and my personal fav., walked into the bar one day to listen to an American guitar player who he'd heard only little about. He sat down and watched this American contemporary silently for several minutes. And when the band finished, Mr. Beck finished his beer and headed toward the door. His friends asked him where he was heading to which he replied, "to go find a new career." The man on stage was Jimi Hendrix.
I've absolutely no idea if it ever really happened and whether it is merely mythopea or tall tale, doesn't really matter. Obviously Jeff didn't quit and went on to later record albums that would define Jazz Fusion and inspire countless musicians, myself included. I like this story. It reminds me to push on, even when discouraged or when facing persons, places, and things that seem greater, bigger or better than you.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Daze gone by.
I absolutely hate it
when the day disappears
Guilt creeps in silently
like a coyote through the dog door
And coats the back of your throat
with something close to cough syrup
Daze gone by.
Bygones, be bygones.
Gone are the days.
when the day disappears
Guilt creeps in silently
like a coyote through the dog door
And coats the back of your throat
with something close to cough syrup
Daze gone by.
Bygones, be bygones.
Gone are the days.
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Top 10
I've decided that Fridays on Syntactical Hiccups will be "Top Ten Fridays". Over the course of any given week I encounter enough musings, suggestions, opinions, good ideas, bad ideas, hot topics, and falderal to fill a sizable container capable of holding mass amounts (goddamn idiom shortage).
I've been pestering quite a few people now for some suggestions on The Muse.
Here are the top ten:
1. Be less focused on the idea of producing a novel--that's not the same as writing.
2. Don't let the blog tie you to one idea, consider writing short stories.
3. You don't always have to like what you write.
4. Stick with it and don't get discouraged.
5. Write less about your writing and more about your life.
6. Focus less on the audience/reader and don't worry about how you're coming across.
7. Don't obsess over your "triggering town", it's just what gets the gears turning.
8. Schedule a time to write everyday.
9. Don't be afraid to change horses midstream, WWII stories have become space operas.
10. Remain positive or neutral, and you may allow yourself to be reflective, upset, and concerned--but never discouraged.
I've been pestering quite a few people now for some suggestions on The Muse.
Here are the top ten:
1. Be less focused on the idea of producing a novel--that's not the same as writing.
2. Don't let the blog tie you to one idea, consider writing short stories.
3. You don't always have to like what you write.
4. Stick with it and don't get discouraged.
5. Write less about your writing and more about your life.
6. Focus less on the audience/reader and don't worry about how you're coming across.
7. Don't obsess over your "triggering town", it's just what gets the gears turning.
8. Schedule a time to write everyday.
9. Don't be afraid to change horses midstream, WWII stories have become space operas.
10. Remain positive or neutral, and you may allow yourself to be reflective, upset, and concerned--but never discouraged.
Time
I came to the realization this afternoon that perhaps the ultimate reason I appreciate the written word as much as I do has to do with "time". We are a species ruled by time. Our need to communicate with one another as quickly and as effectively as possible underscores a "need for speed" that runs to the core. But tragically, the need to communicate often trumps the need to be understood. For the sound of one hand clapping, can't be heard by forest alone.
I enjoy writing because it helps me to be understood, just as much as it helps me to understand. In person, I will often find myself overwhelmed and can't be slowed down to phrase things carefully. In conversations, I meander and amble toward something resembling a point, but often fall short.
It has all too often been said that good writing is good editing, but good conversations have no such platitude. With that considered, writing means so much to me because it is full of second chances. First impressions are only first drafts and a pause can last for seconds, days, or even years. Writing, for all intended purposes, is a time machine. It is an opportunity to mark a cadence limited only by the ink in your pen or the electricity in your computer.
I enjoy writing because it helps me to be understood, just as much as it helps me to understand. In person, I will often find myself overwhelmed and can't be slowed down to phrase things carefully. In conversations, I meander and amble toward something resembling a point, but often fall short.
It has all too often been said that good writing is good editing, but good conversations have no such platitude. With that considered, writing means so much to me because it is full of second chances. First impressions are only first drafts and a pause can last for seconds, days, or even years. Writing, for all intended purposes, is a time machine. It is an opportunity to mark a cadence limited only by the ink in your pen or the electricity in your computer.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Lucky 13
Day 13: Day 1
Dear Readers,
Sometimes little things weigh us down. In the film Up in The Air, George Clooney plays a shrewd, hip, 40-50 something, HR specialist who travels around the country firing people. That said, he's not a "bad guy" and is actually pretty redeemable in his approach to looking at the future, namely highlighting the potential that comes from loss. I can speak to this personally. Clooney's character also takes on the material aspect of personal obligations when he presents a metaphorical "backpack" that gets heavier with the more responsibilities, possessions, and relationships you have in your life. I can also speak to that a little.
Last year I was well on my way to a career in education. In spring of '09 I found myself enrolled in Claremont Graduate University's Teacher Education Program. After substitute teaching for a few years, I had discovered that much of the disdain I had once had for teaching had more to do with my experiences as a student and a fear of settling down. So I took the plunge, all the while a little voice, a minute subconscious inkling, whispered in my ear that this wasn't me.
As the program progressed, the initial enjoyment I found in the sociological and philosophical aspects of education wore off quickly as the coursework shifted more toward lesson planning, classroom management, and California content standards. But I pressed on. I promised myself an apartment, new toys, independence, freedom, and that kept me pushing onward, albeit blindly.
Summer was student teaching, which was perhaps the most stressful 6 weeks of my life. It felt longer. It felt like a prison sentence just starting. It made me absolutely admire the determination and efforts of my father, a classroom teacher of 23 years, and brought us closer together. But as the summer came to a close, the economic realities of recession-era living set in.
After 40 applications, 5 interviews, and 2 call backs, I broke down. I felt betrayed by CGU's promises and assurances, and completely invalidated with each district's rejection email. Fears of every shape and size crept into my consciousness. I began to question my rational, my capability, and my grip on life. I recognized how in over my head I was and realized that I needed some outside validation in the most professional capacity. I went to counseling.
With Teacher Ed. I had two options: take a leave of absence from the program or switch to the "50/50 Program", which detailed student teaching and limited opportunities to sub. And then something happened that changed my life.
I had gone into the department office to discuss my options. It was a gray November day and my outlook was even darker. The woman I met with, let's call her "Angela", had done her best to help and looked overworked. The number of students without employment was dire and I was one of them. We talked and I tried to remain positive, which hurt. And then, at the end of our meeting I found myself asking her about a possible major change. A little question. She told me I'd have to check with the other department to look into a program change. I left, feeling something stirring. Something that had been dormant. Something that felt right.
I exited the building and headed home. But on my way across the Drucker campus, I saw a beautiful girl with dark coffee features and raven black hair. And hoping to strike up a conversation, asked her if she knew where the English department was. She smiled, adjusted the stack of books in her arms, and quite literally pointed me in the right direction. Long story short, I found the Arts and Humanities department and transferred to English. Things have gotten steadily better since.
Today I stopped off at Huntley Bookstore to buy my textbooks for the spring and the cashier, upon recognizing me, asked me how the Teacher Ed. program was going. When I told him I had changed my program to English he asked me "how much time did you waste?" I paused, taken aback by his phrasing and replied as follows: "None."
Sometimes loss is necessary for us to move on. In my case, I'm thankful for the bad economy. Teaching high school has always felt like an inevitability and a default destination-- the Denny's of my dreams. But when I discovered the difficulty, oppression, stress, performance anxiety, and lack of jobs in teaching, the genuine reality of the profession sank in. That's when I realized, it didn't make any sense to spend what limited time I have on this planet doing something I didn't at least get some enjoyment out of.
So here we are, blog 13 and a long and rambly one at that. Learning to see change as something other than bad or good is difficult. This is especially true of writing. But what I find as most important lies in recognizing when it is time to initiate change.
As my aunt points out, words have power. Titling this blog "The Laziest Writer You Know" would be like naming a sailboat "Old Sinky". It is with that that I smash open a new bottle of champagne across the bow and set course under a new heading: Syntactical Hiccups.
And in the words of the Sahara All Stars Band, enjoy yourself.
Authoritatively yours,
Jordan
PS
I promise to limit the nautical puns from here on out. Honest.
Dear Readers,
Sometimes little things weigh us down. In the film Up in The Air, George Clooney plays a shrewd, hip, 40-50 something, HR specialist who travels around the country firing people. That said, he's not a "bad guy" and is actually pretty redeemable in his approach to looking at the future, namely highlighting the potential that comes from loss. I can speak to this personally. Clooney's character also takes on the material aspect of personal obligations when he presents a metaphorical "backpack" that gets heavier with the more responsibilities, possessions, and relationships you have in your life. I can also speak to that a little.
Last year I was well on my way to a career in education. In spring of '09 I found myself enrolled in Claremont Graduate University's Teacher Education Program. After substitute teaching for a few years, I had discovered that much of the disdain I had once had for teaching had more to do with my experiences as a student and a fear of settling down. So I took the plunge, all the while a little voice, a minute subconscious inkling, whispered in my ear that this wasn't me.
As the program progressed, the initial enjoyment I found in the sociological and philosophical aspects of education wore off quickly as the coursework shifted more toward lesson planning, classroom management, and California content standards. But I pressed on. I promised myself an apartment, new toys, independence, freedom, and that kept me pushing onward, albeit blindly.
Summer was student teaching, which was perhaps the most stressful 6 weeks of my life. It felt longer. It felt like a prison sentence just starting. It made me absolutely admire the determination and efforts of my father, a classroom teacher of 23 years, and brought us closer together. But as the summer came to a close, the economic realities of recession-era living set in.
After 40 applications, 5 interviews, and 2 call backs, I broke down. I felt betrayed by CGU's promises and assurances, and completely invalidated with each district's rejection email. Fears of every shape and size crept into my consciousness. I began to question my rational, my capability, and my grip on life. I recognized how in over my head I was and realized that I needed some outside validation in the most professional capacity. I went to counseling.
With Teacher Ed. I had two options: take a leave of absence from the program or switch to the "50/50 Program", which detailed student teaching and limited opportunities to sub. And then something happened that changed my life.
I had gone into the department office to discuss my options. It was a gray November day and my outlook was even darker. The woman I met with, let's call her "Angela", had done her best to help and looked overworked. The number of students without employment was dire and I was one of them. We talked and I tried to remain positive, which hurt. And then, at the end of our meeting I found myself asking her about a possible major change. A little question. She told me I'd have to check with the other department to look into a program change. I left, feeling something stirring. Something that had been dormant. Something that felt right.
I exited the building and headed home. But on my way across the Drucker campus, I saw a beautiful girl with dark coffee features and raven black hair. And hoping to strike up a conversation, asked her if she knew where the English department was. She smiled, adjusted the stack of books in her arms, and quite literally pointed me in the right direction. Long story short, I found the Arts and Humanities department and transferred to English. Things have gotten steadily better since.
Today I stopped off at Huntley Bookstore to buy my textbooks for the spring and the cashier, upon recognizing me, asked me how the Teacher Ed. program was going. When I told him I had changed my program to English he asked me "how much time did you waste?" I paused, taken aback by his phrasing and replied as follows: "None."
Sometimes loss is necessary for us to move on. In my case, I'm thankful for the bad economy. Teaching high school has always felt like an inevitability and a default destination-- the Denny's of my dreams. But when I discovered the difficulty, oppression, stress, performance anxiety, and lack of jobs in teaching, the genuine reality of the profession sank in. That's when I realized, it didn't make any sense to spend what limited time I have on this planet doing something I didn't at least get some enjoyment out of.
So here we are, blog 13 and a long and rambly one at that. Learning to see change as something other than bad or good is difficult. This is especially true of writing. But what I find as most important lies in recognizing when it is time to initiate change.
As my aunt points out, words have power. Titling this blog "The Laziest Writer You Know" would be like naming a sailboat "Old Sinky". It is with that that I smash open a new bottle of champagne across the bow and set course under a new heading: Syntactical Hiccups.
And in the words of the Sahara All Stars Band, enjoy yourself.
Authoritatively yours,
Jordan
PS
I promise to limit the nautical puns from here on out. Honest.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Frustration
Day 12: I hate my story.
Yes my dear internet, it is true. My premise is tired, I don't particularly like my characters anymore, and I'm having a lousy time getting this to flow. Hence the debate I've been having with myself for the better part of today: is it time to scratch the initial idea in favor of something else? Something more sci-fi?
Here are the pros:
1. More freedom in character design.
2. More freedom in settings.
3. Pre-existing ideas and premises I've had sitting around for some time.
...and the cons:
1. Never getting back to the original concept
2. Making exceptions that could result in derailing the blog
3. Not finishing the new idea and jumping ship yet again
Marcus made an interesting suggestion today regarding my perdicament. He suggested that if I do start something else, to consider it less as a failure and more as a revision. I think that that's a good way of looking at things, but I'm still scared about what shifting things could spell.
All I know is that I'm really not feeling this new story as it is and that something will have to change.
Yes my dear internet, it is true. My premise is tired, I don't particularly like my characters anymore, and I'm having a lousy time getting this to flow. Hence the debate I've been having with myself for the better part of today: is it time to scratch the initial idea in favor of something else? Something more sci-fi?
Here are the pros:
1. More freedom in character design.
2. More freedom in settings.
3. Pre-existing ideas and premises I've had sitting around for some time.
...and the cons:
1. Never getting back to the original concept
2. Making exceptions that could result in derailing the blog
3. Not finishing the new idea and jumping ship yet again
Marcus made an interesting suggestion today regarding my perdicament. He suggested that if I do start something else, to consider it less as a failure and more as a revision. I think that that's a good way of looking at things, but I'm still scared about what shifting things could spell.
All I know is that I'm really not feeling this new story as it is and that something will have to change.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Oh blog....
Day 11: Insert Title Here
My brain is mush presently. It's gotten far too late to write anything worthwhile here, so I'll focus on teetering somewhere between absurd and comprehensible. I seem to have hay fever or a head cold. Either way, my nose feels like the edge of a well worn golf glove and is looking a little rudolphy.
Didn't work on The Muse at all today either, but I'm aiming to be a little bit more inspired come tomorrow morning. I'm mildly burnt out and I haven't even really started cooking things. Staying positive, kicking ass and chewing bubblegum.
More to follow.
My brain is mush presently. It's gotten far too late to write anything worthwhile here, so I'll focus on teetering somewhere between absurd and comprehensible. I seem to have hay fever or a head cold. Either way, my nose feels like the edge of a well worn golf glove and is looking a little rudolphy.
Didn't work on The Muse at all today either, but I'm aiming to be a little bit more inspired come tomorrow morning. I'm mildly burnt out and I haven't even really started cooking things. Staying positive, kicking ass and chewing bubblegum.
More to follow.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Out and about
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Back on schedule
Day 9: Full Speed Ahead
Alrighty, feeling a little better after quickly hammering out that last post. I was hardly thinking about the story today and instead found myself pondering a lot of seemingly unrelated things, namely the idea of "effort". I'm hardly phrasing that well, as effort is hardly an "idea", but it doesn't really fit the context of a "concept" either. Whatever description "effort" falls under, sometimes it is painfully difficult to put forth one tiny iota worth of it, especially when other things are going on around me. Right now, efforts are flailing and I'm ending this blog entry really before it even begins. Off to work on book stuff mayhaps.
Alrighty, feeling a little better after quickly hammering out that last post. I was hardly thinking about the story today and instead found myself pondering a lot of seemingly unrelated things, namely the idea of "effort". I'm hardly phrasing that well, as effort is hardly an "idea", but it doesn't really fit the context of a "concept" either. Whatever description "effort" falls under, sometimes it is painfully difficult to put forth one tiny iota worth of it, especially when other things are going on around me. Right now, efforts are flailing and I'm ending this blog entry really before it even begins. Off to work on book stuff mayhaps.
Friday, January 8, 2010
And on the 8th day he forgot
Day 8: Breaking routine
This sucks. The time stamp you see on this blog entry is an absolute lie. It was not written at 11:20 and most certainly was not written on 1/8/10. The cake is a lie.
Fuck.
So here's what happened:
Yesterday morning was great. I started working on a completely unrelated project to both the blog and the book with C&C&M, which I will be remaining very "mum" on until the first installment is off and running--very cool and a lot of fun. Creatively, things were great yesterday, very productive via brainstorming. BUT I completely forgot about doing a blog! But no excuses! I fucking blew it, but I'm going to lie about the timestamps for convenience sake in timing this thing out.
My apologies to the six of you out there in internet land. Don't hate me too much.
FUCK.
This sucks. The time stamp you see on this blog entry is an absolute lie. It was not written at 11:20 and most certainly was not written on 1/8/10. The cake is a lie.
Fuck.
So here's what happened:
Yesterday morning was great. I started working on a completely unrelated project to both the blog and the book with C&C&M, which I will be remaining very "mum" on until the first installment is off and running--very cool and a lot of fun. Creatively, things were great yesterday, very productive via brainstorming. BUT I completely forgot about doing a blog! But no excuses! I fucking blew it, but I'm going to lie about the timestamps for convenience sake in timing this thing out.
My apologies to the six of you out there in internet land. Don't hate me too much.
FUCK.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Prime Directive
Day 7: A bit stuck
Today was rough going. I was having some serious difficulty in establishing goals for my characters and I broke the prime directive: not talking about the project... at least I made it to a week. That said, I'm going to try to "get back on the wagon" and refrain/restrain myself from talking about the process save for on the blog. However, I did get some really solid advice from my Uncle Chris on the subject of motivation and getting to know your characters.
When I first created Jack, I described him as one might describe an acquaintance. Chris suggested that I try "interviewing" my characters with some general questions to suss out where they stand on things and to get an idea of where they're coming from. He also mentioned having another character from the book describe Jack.
One of the arguments I'm having with myself is just how exactly "cerebral" I should like to forge this thing. I'm a better storyteller when adventure is involved and the idea of making Jack's experience interacting with "the muse" (whomever she may turn out to be) more along the lines of "magical realism" or horror, makes me squeamish.
More to follow.
Today was rough going. I was having some serious difficulty in establishing goals for my characters and I broke the prime directive: not talking about the project... at least I made it to a week. That said, I'm going to try to "get back on the wagon" and refrain/restrain myself from talking about the process save for on the blog. However, I did get some really solid advice from my Uncle Chris on the subject of motivation and getting to know your characters.
When I first created Jack, I described him as one might describe an acquaintance. Chris suggested that I try "interviewing" my characters with some general questions to suss out where they stand on things and to get an idea of where they're coming from. He also mentioned having another character from the book describe Jack.
One of the arguments I'm having with myself is just how exactly "cerebral" I should like to forge this thing. I'm a better storyteller when adventure is involved and the idea of making Jack's experience interacting with "the muse" (whomever she may turn out to be) more along the lines of "magical realism" or horror, makes me squeamish.
More to follow.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Contents under pressure, although some sediment may have occured
Day 6: Keeping focused
My sister made an interesting observation this evening regarding the content of my blog thus far. To paraphrase: "It's boring."
Well, fuck. Of course it's boring. It's less a blog and more an exercise in discipline and commitment. Perhaps the biggest, honking challenge I've faced thus far in my limited experiences writing has been sticking with things and let's face it, a blog about a guy writing a book doesn't sound like something I'd read. But stay with me just a second longer.
They say (just who the fuck is this "they" anyway?) that telling a good story has more to do with execution than the content. It's the "how" and "why", not as much the "what". Not to say that "what" doesn't certainly have it's place, but so much of good story telling lies in the delivery, right? Right?
Well, self deprecation and neuroticism aside, and yes I'm aware neuroticism may not be a word according to spellcheck, I'm at least satisfied with the story I'm writing and that's the important part. I need to outline a few more things (quite a bit actually) but I'm feeling more positive and energetic about things...mostly because I have to be as being pessimistic seems antithetical to productivity.
My sister made an interesting observation this evening regarding the content of my blog thus far. To paraphrase: "It's boring."
Well, fuck. Of course it's boring. It's less a blog and more an exercise in discipline and commitment. Perhaps the biggest, honking challenge I've faced thus far in my limited experiences writing has been sticking with things and let's face it, a blog about a guy writing a book doesn't sound like something I'd read. But stay with me just a second longer.
They say (just who the fuck is this "they" anyway?) that telling a good story has more to do with execution than the content. It's the "how" and "why", not as much the "what". Not to say that "what" doesn't certainly have it's place, but so much of good story telling lies in the delivery, right? Right?
Well, self deprecation and neuroticism aside, and yes I'm aware neuroticism may not be a word according to spellcheck, I'm at least satisfied with the story I'm writing and that's the important part. I need to outline a few more things (quite a bit actually) but I'm feeling more positive and energetic about things...mostly because I have to be as being pessimistic seems antithetical to productivity.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Ugh...
Day 5: Piss and Vinegar
UGH. Five days into this thing and I'm already wanting to quit. Presently, I'm all kinds of stuck with what's going on with my characters and I'm now debating whether to alter the premise. The more I start to develop Jack, the less likely he seems to have any motivation for wanting to write or pursue anything artistic. This is a guy whose spent most of his undergraduate career drinking and I just don't see him possessing a desire for creative expression.
I've thought about having him write in order to get into some girl's pants, but that seems cliche. I've also thought about moving the story into a different direction and incorporating more adventurous elements. Hell, even in just expressing that thought right now, I'm feeling like that's a better route. Luckily, I did get a decent amount of writing in today, so I'm upbeat about that. I think I'll see if I can outline more of the plot. I think I need to figure out where I'm going before I can go any farther than poor Jack's shitty dorm room.
Speaking of rooms, I seriously need to light a fire under my ass and organize my desk before the new semester starts. I've been given an extension my article for Teacher Ed, which has taken some of the pressure off of my research. While its at least a subject matter I enjoy (graphic novels) I really would like to be done with Teacher Ed now and be getting started on focusing on the English program. On that note, I'm a little concerned with managing the coursework with my novel and this blog. But, I've committed to this, so I'll keep on keeping on.
Current Project: The Muse
Pages Complete: 1.5/???
Album Completion: 2.5%
UGH. Five days into this thing and I'm already wanting to quit. Presently, I'm all kinds of stuck with what's going on with my characters and I'm now debating whether to alter the premise. The more I start to develop Jack, the less likely he seems to have any motivation for wanting to write or pursue anything artistic. This is a guy whose spent most of his undergraduate career drinking and I just don't see him possessing a desire for creative expression.
I've thought about having him write in order to get into some girl's pants, but that seems cliche. I've also thought about moving the story into a different direction and incorporating more adventurous elements. Hell, even in just expressing that thought right now, I'm feeling like that's a better route. Luckily, I did get a decent amount of writing in today, so I'm upbeat about that. I think I'll see if I can outline more of the plot. I think I need to figure out where I'm going before I can go any farther than poor Jack's shitty dorm room.
Speaking of rooms, I seriously need to light a fire under my ass and organize my desk before the new semester starts. I've been given an extension my article for Teacher Ed, which has taken some of the pressure off of my research. While its at least a subject matter I enjoy (graphic novels) I really would like to be done with Teacher Ed now and be getting started on focusing on the English program. On that note, I'm a little concerned with managing the coursework with my novel and this blog. But, I've committed to this, so I'll keep on keeping on.
Current Project: The Muse
Pages Complete: 1.5/???
Album Completion: 2.5%
Monday, January 4, 2010
Show and Tell
Day 4: Visualize
Today was hardly as productive as I'd hoped it would be. While I did manage to add a little to chapter 1, I realized that I hadn't exactly set the scene very well. I remembered something my friend Hung had told me regarding writing, that one should "show" rather than "tell". Hence adding a little more detail in describing the kind of surroundings Jack finds himself living in at school.
On the subject of school, I'm debating changing the college to better draw from my own experiences at a state school. However, part of Jack's major character flaw it that he's always been a child of privilege. I'll have to weigh it and see where things go.
As far as the plot outlining goes, I need to start mapping things out a bit more. I'm feeling a little disconnected at the moment and that needs to be alleviated ASAP to keep things flowing. Will probably spend some time on that tomorrow.
In other news, I'm still getting things in order for the new semester and meeting with an old high school classmate tomorrow for coffee. Tomorrow's work (and blog post) will be more interesting/insightful, I assure you. Honest.
Current Project: The Muse
Pages Complete: 1.5/???
Album Completion: 2.5%
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Revisionist Boxing Match
Day 3: I hate censoring myself.
To any of the six people out in internet land who read the first installment of The Laziest Writer You Know, you may have noticed some sections have been recently omitted or altered as of ten minutes ago. Now, I know what you're thinking: He said he wouldn't pull any punches... and it certainly does look as though I'm doing just that.
As this blog remains in it's infancy, I'm still working out the kinks and debating on how public, private, or anonymous I should make things. It dawned on me earlier today, that is to say my sister specifically mentioned it to me, that some of what I had written in the first entry could unintentionally hurt some feelings. While I'm willing to punch myself, the last thing I'd ever want to do is punch the people I care about.
I'm beginning to think that one of the challenges that comes with blogging is the nonfictional element. There exists a very unique, 21st century tendency for over-sharing in our mixed up, shook-up social networking world. On one hand, a blogger aims to captivate his audience by sharing every inner thought and juicy observation they might not otherwise let fly in public. On the other, he weighs this necessity for blunt, hard, objectivity against the reactions and commentary of the very audience he tries to reach. My main character, Jack, encounters a similar dilemma involving the pitfalls of censorship and social networking.
Jack shares too much and can't be bothered with the fallout and collateral damage that comes from drunken pictures posted online or rambling livejournal entries about scoring pot on a budget. Most importantly, Jack doesn't see himself as a jerk and the more I start to write about his shortsightedness and douchebagery, the more humor I find in my past dealings with real people just like him.
TLDR: Loose lips sink ships, writers have a responsibility to be honest, yet humble, and Jack's character is starting to really take shape.
Current Project: The Muse
Pages Complete: 1/???
Album Completion: 2.5%
To any of the six people out in internet land who read the first installment of The Laziest Writer You Know, you may have noticed some sections have been recently omitted or altered as of ten minutes ago. Now, I know what you're thinking: He said he wouldn't pull any punches... and it certainly does look as though I'm doing just that.
As this blog remains in it's infancy, I'm still working out the kinks and debating on how public, private, or anonymous I should make things. It dawned on me earlier today, that is to say my sister specifically mentioned it to me, that some of what I had written in the first entry could unintentionally hurt some feelings. While I'm willing to punch myself, the last thing I'd ever want to do is punch the people I care about.
I'm beginning to think that one of the challenges that comes with blogging is the nonfictional element. There exists a very unique, 21st century tendency for over-sharing in our mixed up, shook-up social networking world. On one hand, a blogger aims to captivate his audience by sharing every inner thought and juicy observation they might not otherwise let fly in public. On the other, he weighs this necessity for blunt, hard, objectivity against the reactions and commentary of the very audience he tries to reach. My main character, Jack, encounters a similar dilemma involving the pitfalls of censorship and social networking.
Jack shares too much and can't be bothered with the fallout and collateral damage that comes from drunken pictures posted online or rambling livejournal entries about scoring pot on a budget. Most importantly, Jack doesn't see himself as a jerk and the more I start to write about his shortsightedness and douchebagery, the more humor I find in my past dealings with real people just like him.
TLDR: Loose lips sink ships, writers have a responsibility to be honest, yet humble, and Jack's character is starting to really take shape.
Current Project: The Muse
Pages Complete: 1/???
Album Completion: 2.5%
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Indroductions and assorted blah, blah, blah
Day 2: A minor oversight
Introductions can be tricky. Luckily, I seem to have a handle on that component of writing fiction, at least for the time at hand. But it dawned on me last night that I did a rather mediocre job of introducing myself and projecting a little insight into to the nexus of anonymity we like to call the internet. While I doubt that people other than my immediate circle will be interested in keeping tabs on my novel progress, I will at the least spend a little more time describing my situation. Just in case.
On the subject of introductions, or more specifically on the subject of beginnings, I managed to get a good start on my writing project and have an official working title: The Muse.
Our story begins at Occidental College and follows Jack, an upscale pretty boy who has never worked a day in his life and has managed so far to successfully feign the facade of intellectualism while popping jello-shots and banging girls with names like Ashley, Krystal, and Porsche. But with as much outward zest for life our neirdowell protagonist exudes, there's a certain genuine discontentment creeping in beyond the hip, ironic melancholy that he wallows in. And like most good stories, it all begins with a girl...
Current Project: The Muse
Pages Complete: 1/???
Album Completion: 2.5%
Friday, January 1, 2010
You have to start somewhere.
Day 1: I begrudgingly begin my blog.
First off, this has nothing to do with Julia Childe, so let me put everyone's collective mind at rest. Furthermore, I can safely assure you dear readers that you will never see any sort of film adaptation depicting my life in a quirky, pseudo-indie fashion where I constantly bitch about writer's block and self-doubt in a "crappy"(unrealistic, damn near palatial, one-would-consider-contract-killing for) apartment with a perfect spouse.
This blog does however, pull few punches in describing the stupefying, near-cosmic, extent of my laziness and lack of discipline toward both writing and life. It will cover all the nitty gritty details surrounding just exactly how it is I'm working through my writing, racking up ungodly amounts of debt while working on an MA in Literature, living with my parents in my childhood home, and my dating life as a formerly-fat, 26 year old, novice.
Last night was New Year's Eve.
After dicking around in the cultural dark matter of the Inland Empire with my good pal Joe, the two of us were on the hunt for parties where scantily clad women might heave their ample bosoms from the confines of their jerkins, in the same way an ocean's tide might ebb with the moon pushing waves far beyond the rocky crags of a chaparral coast. Alas, our pursuits came to no avail and we dun got ourselves some hamburgers prior to stopping off at Jessica's for the first time that night.
Jessica and Andrew had just finished setting up and it looked as though there would be a good spread and that good company would be on their way but momentarily. Jessica's hospitality and kindness well made up for any uncomfortableness that night. Mostly, I'm just sick of being single every New Years.
But, I'm getting away from the intended thrust of this new blog, which is to serve as a means for charting my progress writing, working on my album, and life in general. Being the start of the new year, I've decided that now is as good a time as any to put some effort forward creatively and I think that keeping a blog will force me to maintain a deadline for my writing, my music, my school work, and to some extent, my life.
Summation (TLDR): I'm too lazy to be left to my own devices and expect myself to poop out great works of fiction, next year there had better be tits for New Year's Eve, and this blog may just serve as the .38 snub-buried-at-the-base-of-my-skull that I need for me to stick with something I start to write.
Current Project: TBA
Pages Complete: ?/???
Album Completion: 2.5%
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